R U WACKO ASKS ARE YOU WACKO?
~ R. U. Wacko as Edited and Published by Gary Bahr
Are You Wacko? R U Wacko shapes the political and other mental thoughts for the wacko and non-wacko. Are You Wacko? Of course, if you do not agree with R U Wacko. If you agree with R U Wacko, you are not Wacko! You will want to memorize his opinions on life, living, death, God, love, religion, politics and learning.
I told my young grandson he should name his new puppy – Joey Fu Fu My Yap Ya Ya – after my grade school teacher’s dog. He asked me, “Are you wacko? It is a good question for all of us and I really often wonder about our politicians and others. It is also a good title for my opinions.
For example, our Republican politicians have had an official policy since the day President Obama became President of not giving our President any points on anything – even if they agree and even if it was a Republican idea and the President agreed. Now that is Wacko!
Thomas Jefferson once wrote, “It takes time to persuade men to do even what is their own good.” That explains why the U. S. Constitution was a miracle and why agreement between Congress and the President can now labor on for what seems like eternity.
Yet, I am willing to pursue every wacko idea that enters the minds of politicians, men, women and kids, as well as any sane ideas in the pursuit of normal. Read the writings below and see the “blog posts” in the menu above.
Are You Wacko? “Don’t mess in my head with your dirty feet” if you are.
Don’t let religion ruin your life.
Are you Wacko?
Like all of us, occasionally I have a thought or borrow a thought and jot it down. Lucky for you, right? In Leo Buscaglia’s book Living, Loving and Learning, Leo is telling a guru some of his thoughts when the guru slaps him and says, “Don’t walk in my head with your dirty feet.” I liked it and thought it would be a good title for my thoughts on various thoughts. But, it is a little long for a title, not original and would not be as easily found on the web. And, if you can’t find it, how can it help you? Thus the book Are You Wacko is below. Now, if you do not like what I have to say, write your own thoughts.
Are You Wacko is a work in progress… As long as I have thoughts as R. U. Wacko I will share them and add to them here. Thus you need to return often for updates. Read often to memorize. You will think better.
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> CHANGE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Wayne Dyer. It is my favorite quote.
> DO NOT HATE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Hating another person is a waste of our time. They may not know we hate them or care; and other people do not care. We only hurt ourselves when we spend time hating.
> IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
When we live on earth we want to die and go to heaven. When we die we want to live come back to earth. Since long before Adam and Eve – millions of years before them, that is how men and women felt. Heaven sounds good. Sounds better than Hell. Is it wishful thinking? Certainly it is a very basic desire of humans to live forever or to live beyond death.
Religion has grown from this basic wish to live forever. Death does not sound that wonderful. But if we die and can live and even come back, death is not so hard to accept. If we die in our sleep, we are one of the lucky ones. Is life after death just a wish or a hope manifested in inner being or in our religion and training. Is it reality? Probably not. Logically not. Possibly.
> LIFE AFTER DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Everlasting life to me is the memory of us that lives on in others after we are gone. Thus we can live forever because in life we touch others in ways that make up part of their lives, and they become like us in little ways and remain like us after our departure.
> AVOIDING DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Best thing we can do to avoid death is to quit smoking, keep our weight down, exercise, eat well and learn to relax. But we do little to change our lives or our ways, even after the first heart attack.
> EAT NOT TO GLUTTONY, EAT FOR HEALTH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
It is happening now. I have vertually eliminated alcohol, bread and sugars from my diet, plus added exercise. It is good. I could write a whole book on the subject and it would probably sell. I must have a dozen such books. You know what you should do anyway, but just don’t do it.
> LEARNING ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We deal inappropriately with each other. There is little effort in our schools to teach us to understand each other, to accept others as they are and to learn how to properly cope with the actions and non-actions of others.
> DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Someone in our lives has died of cancer. We can be taught how to deal with death when it affects our lives. Death approaches, we don’t like to hear the truth. We want to be comforted. We have not planned our death. Few do. Some have time to and some don’t. And I, for one, don’t want anyone planning my death. Death is hard to face at any time. A healthy attitude will help, but it is still going to be scary to most. In the final moments, we turn to GOD. We have never understood God, and we won’t in our dying. But, on our death-bed we have to accept God – just in case. It is easier to accept death with “our” God’s help. We want to die in our sleep, at home, with a love one holding our hand. It probably won’t happen that way.
> HOPE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
“Something good always comes out of something bad.” An old turkey farmer use to always say that to me when I was young. It is a good slogan to live by. It is a good philosophy to die by.
> WAR ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I believe it was Plato who once said something like, “Only the dead have seen the end of war.”
> DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Divorce and death are not fair. “There is nothing permanent, accept change” ~ Heraclitus – 540-475.
> DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I had to face my brother’s death and my Mother’s and my stepfather’s and my Dad’s death. I had a time accepting Mom’s death and my brother’s. I had to attend all their funerals. Never liked a funeral.
My brother had died of cancer. He handled supplies in the Viet Nam war. Suspect he was exposed to agent orange.
My Mom had went down South to see my brother’s widow, Mary ( My brother had died of Cancer a year before ). When Mom came back home she had swelled-up like a balloon. I said something has to be wrong. She thought it was the humidity down South or that she ate too much on a cruise. She went into the Oregon clinic and they rushed her off to the hospital and soon she was full of cancer and in the hospital for a month and then off to my brother Ken’s home for her last few weeks. I never felt so helpless in my life.
Six months later, the doctors thought my son had Cancer. I said it was mathematically impossible. I would not accept that. Not all this can happen to me. I didn’t do that much wrong for God to give several of my family cancer. Ended up that my son had a severe Mono tumor and within 20 minutes of that good news, and while celebrating in the hospital room, I get a call that my step-father had a severe heart attack and EMS was taking him to the hospital where machines would keep him alive a dozen hours.
I said O.K. God, what do you want from me? It is hard to know. If I made promises to God to not take anyone else in my family, I forgot.
> HEAVEN & HELL ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I thought we might be fooling ourselves about heaven and hell. Oh, I think we live on, like how my Mom and brother and step-dad live on in those they touched, and the dead live on in their kin and friends. And God really, literally is “love”.
> JESUS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Far as I know, Jesus did live, died and does truly live on in us who believe in his teachings. There is no written evidence during Jesus life and years thereafter that denies Jesus lived. He likely died on a cross and suffered greatly. To me, it is not like his father left him die for our sins. That is not logical. Churches need that explanation to explain why we should tithe to have everlasting life.
> SUICIDE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Suicide is easy. You can get a machine from a doctor that will allow you to inject a chemical that will end all your worry. It should be easier for us to get counseling when we feel suicidal than it is to get a gun or pills or a suicide machine.
> LIFE AFTER DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
In life, we touch so many people over the years that we cannot know the words or deeds we did which may have touched another or changed someone for the better – or maybe for worse. We leave our mark on life, and we leave our mark in death. Will we be remembered? We will be as others saw us, sometimes not as we desired. Or, they desired. People remember the things said and done by us that affected how they are and how they reacted. They remember how we lived and how you were to them. It is better to have good memories. In life, remember it does no good to have someone mad at us. You may as well make amends before we die and leave a good memory. Life is your book. Every day a new page is printed. Some day it is read by someone, studied, remembered, borrowed, and used. Today’s page may read – “The End”. But there is no end if we live on in others. The doctors can predict our death fairly accurately if we are in their care and they can monitor our vital organs. They can tell if we have a day or two left. Gather the family. Think about what we will say. Try to make amends. Or, live every day of our life so that there is no need for an apology.
> FAKING DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I once wrote many junk mail advertisers and told them I was dead. They insisted on resurrecting my household mailings address to the “Family members of the deceased “. Willamette University put it in an article in their Alumni paper about my death, sent a nice letter to my spouse, and so have stopped soliciting. I have not got anymore solicitations for money. It was a good experience at the University. Hope someone misses me.
> DON’T WORRY ABOUT DEATH ~ R. U. Wackofor GaryBahr.com
In June of 1993, my dear Grandma Minnie had her second stroke – this time in the nursing home. The day before her stroke, she was concerned about her safety as she thought her roommate was running the nursing home and had told her that she may as well sell her beloved home as wasn’t going to be returning to her house. Well, that is not what Minnie wanted to hear. I tried to tell her she was safe. She finally said, O.K., if you say so, but “I just didn’t want to be cremated before my time!” Minnie was 95 at that time.
> SMOKING ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
If you smoke, you are committing suicide. You might as well shoot yourself.
> DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I have never liked dealing with death. I don’t like the process. Brother Wayne was my first close family death in my age bracket. Seems easier to accept when the dying person is much older. I had talked to Wayne on the phone a few weeks before he died. I had heard he may need a kidney and I was volunteering. He thanked me. We never agreed much politically. I was a college liberal. He was a lifetime Marine.
> WAR IS HELL ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
My communication with my brother was somewhat cool at times. Especially during the Viet Nam War. I would have went to Canada if called to service. I had forgotten to sign up for the draft as a senior in high school. Must have been absent that day. Sometime later – after graduation – the principal called to have me sign up. He hoped my late sign-up would not get me drafted. Hopefully my flat feet would have saved me from duty. Now don’t get me wrong. I would probably like a good war. Invade my country and I would become as good a terrorist as any. But when we invade another country that is not a threat to us, we only anger the people and we only help the arms industry.
> DEATH & DYING ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
My brother did not tell me he had cancer and was dying. He only said I should not come to see him before January. I learned later that his body had failed him. He was very frail. His athletic tennis body was not any more. He didn’t want anyone to visit until he was gone. He had acquired religion. Surprised me some. I guess I would have too. I should have suspected something was wrong. He basically was telling me that it was in His hands (meaning His hands, God’s hands), but I did not recognize the language. I thought as a marine he meant he could save himself. You have to tell me that you are dying, and that the doctor says there is no hope, that you only have a few weeks to live – then I will understand the situation.
Soon I had my first real funeral to attend. I had lived forty years and could count the funerals on one hand that I had attended. But, Wayne was my brother. He was only a couple of years older. scary. And, he had cancer too!. The big C word was too close. I went to the funeral. I sat in the lounge most of the time. I wanted to remember Wayne as he lived. Family would come out of the room and ask me if I was OK. I was. But, I wondered if they were. I thought the whole funeral process rather gruesome. The casket, body in view, the funeral director, the closing of the casket, music that always brings tears and chokes me up, and the sermon. The sermon does not apply as so often the minister does not even know the person, and the party afterwards I have never understood. I always go for a walk by myself. Sometimes someone comes with me.
“Amazing Grace” has choked me up since I first heard it at my Grandpa’s funeral.
Earlier in life I had to deal with the death of my Grandpa Wesley. He was like a Dad to me. My experiences with death have not been good. I flew back from my new home in the State of Oregon to Oshkosh, Wisconsin for my grandfather’s funeral. My Stepfather met me at the airport and took me directly to the funeral home. We went in and before I knew was happening, I was viewing my Grandpa’s dead body. This man was like a father to me. I loved him dearly. Had planned to name my first-born after him. I was not prepared to see him in a casket. I went immediately out into the foyer of the funeral home and was greeted by the funeral director with, “Doesn’t he look nice”. I did not answer. I just went outside for a walk. Grandpa did not look nice. No corpse looks nice. And, to this day, I do not want my dead body on public display when I depart. It is enough for me to display it when I am alive. Somehow death of a “great” grandfather is more expected and acceptable than that of a brother. You expect older people to die sometime. I just do not like viewing the dead body of anyone. How about a movie clip of his life?
Next I was at my mother’s death-bed. She died of cancer. When a loved one gets cancer, you learn how helpless you can be. There was nothing I could do for her, but visit her. Doesn’t help to know that someone is going to die. The pain is just longer. It must be hard on the person dying. No one talks about it. You can never be prepared for the final moments. She had spent a month or 45 days in the Hospital in Madison when the medicare insurance benefits expired. They announced she may as well go home as their was nothing they could do for her. They had already got all the money the insurance company would pay. My stepfather was not ready to deal with Mom dying. No one could have been. She would fall and someone would all blame her for falling. She could not get up and someone, even a doctor, might scold her for not doing better. They thought she should walk in the hospital and she said no. Family waited for me to talk her into it. They said to me, “Mom won’t walk, you got to make her walk.” I wanted to say call Jesus, but I said nothing. I just collapsed in the chair. A brother insisted I help him help her walk. We dragged her down the hall, he trying to encourage her to put one foot before other, not really realizing her brain was not sending a message to her feet. She could not do better. She would not get better. One doctor said all she had to do was the chemotherapy treatments and she would be making cookies at Christmas. It was not true. Doctor tell little white lies to give hope. I was at her side when she died at my brother’s house. She just stared at me and could not speak.
The cancer specialist told me the truth. Her liver was 95% gone. There was a tumor on her brain and her liver was full of cancer. Her body was full of cancer, and she did not need the dozen type pills she had been taking the past several years.
Stepfather could not cope with her cancer. He had lost his first wife to cancer. He thought the farm had caused my mother’s death as it did his former wife. He lasted about six months and died of a broken heart, loneliness and a heart attack. I was at his death-bed when they unhooked the machine.
My real dad died soon after my stepfather. I was there the night before. The nurse told me his liver was shot after 50 years of chemical abuse. He would drink hair tonic for the alcohol. The night before he died he was in a coma state. I sat there looking at him. I had probably not seen him more than 16 days in my life. He had failed many, including me. All of a sudden he sat up, looked at me, and fell back. He died the next morning. I guess seeing me was too great a shock for him. The last I had seen him I had him placed in protective custody for alcoholism, then a veteran’s home. He died like he lived. He never had anything to say to me except he always had a question that he would ask me another time. I do not know what any of this means. He was a poor Father. I hope I did better as a Dad.
I know that I could not handle the death of a child. I do not know how parents survive such events. I can only imagine the pain. I would have to go off by myself for a while and stare into space. I would like to believe there is life after death. I often do not have hope for it. To me, the above people live on in my memories and of others who loved them and were touched by them. I am a little bit of my Grandpa Wes, my Brother Wayne, my Mother, my Stepfather and my Dad. I can probably drink as much as my real Dad, but I have quit drinking and restricted drinking. It is empty calories, seems to hurt sleeping and encourage heart burn. I think I am most like my Grandpa Wes and Grandma Minnie and my Mom. They had more influence on my life. I hope I am a lot like my Grandma and live to be 98.
Our minds create our individual immortality. Our reality is to be everlasting life. There is no proof of everlasting life. But there is a desire for life to continue forever. No one wants to talk about it. Yet, for medical reasons, we talk about death and life, and our wishes on both. Would you want your life to be a breathing machine? Do you want to be revived by CPR if you are in a non-reversible coma? Is there life after death?
Someone once said something like, “When I die, I want to go on”. That sums up how all men feel. Is it wishful thinking? It is a very basic desire of humans? A wish? A hope? Something manifested in religion? Reality? Probably. Not reality. Possible truth.
> MEMORY OF YOU IS EVERLASTING LIFE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Everlasting life is the memory of us that lives on in others after. Thus we can live forever because in life we touched others in ways that make up part of their lives, and they become like us in little ways and remain like us after our departure. And, they pass our ways unto others.
> AVOIDING DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Perhaps some have to die so others may live. The best thing you can do to avoid death is to quit smoking and keep your weight down. Eat healthy and exercise. These are facts supported by statistics.
> LIVING AFTER HEART ATTACK ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We do little to change our habits, our ways, even after the first heart attack. We taunt death.
> VIOLENCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Violence in America is increasing every year. Why? We have learned to deal inappropriately with others. There is little effort in our schools to teach us otherwise i.e. to understand each other, to accept and to learn how to appropriately cope with the actions, reactions and in-actions of other people.
A few years ago 8 people were killed in Great Britain by handguns, 10,728 were killed in the U.S. In our country we see killing as the instant solution on our TV screen almost every day. And if we kill enough people or make the murder more spectacular than the last headline, we too can be on the news. The last generation was raised on Viet Nam war scenes flashed on TV for 10 years. Now the killing is in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya.
We become immune to the death and violence and that is why it is reaching epidemic proportions.
When I was a kid and the Lone Ranger or Roy Rogers shot someone all you saw was the victim falling. Now, you see the bullet in slow motion tearing thru a body and splashing blood on the wall.
> DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Divorce begins when communication ends. First, one spouse is hurt by a nasty statement of the other. The response is to deny sex or otherwise avoid him or her or say something nasty back. Maybe one spouse finds a new person who loves them. It is my belief that all any of us want is to be loved by someone. If we do not get it in our marriage we look elsewhere.
> ATTORNEYS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The other spouse goes to an attorney, and soon two attorneys help take your money and marriage. No attorney has ever tried to save a marriage. You want a divorce – see an attorney. Then you get a fight. A fight is good for the attorneys – they work by the hour. I think 1 hr and 1 minute is treated as 2 hours.
If attorneys know the law they should be able to settle disputes in minutes. In divorce in Wisconsin, both parties get 1/2 of the value left after debts and attorney fees.
> FRIENDS CAN HELP IN DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Friends have saved marriages and individual spouses have saved marriages and counselors have saved marriages.
Talk to them.
> SAVE YOURSELF FROM DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
If you want to save your marriage, start talking to your spouse without getting angry with them. In a word, listen. Try to understand that they really have their feelings whether it makes sense or not. Getting angry with your spouse without defining your feelings or listening to their feelings is a failure in communication.
> COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTANDING ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Don’t walk away. Keep talking until you both have said all there is to say and there is understanding. I became the master escape artist. I hate to argue. I can hide. I went to work. I went out in the woods. I went to a movie. Avoid, avoid, avoid. It does not work. Avoiding a spouse changes nothing. At best it avoids the conflict temporarily. Sure, often the spouse gets over their complaint so you won’t leave them. But the problem is soon back.
> MARRIAGE SHOULD BE MORE DIFFICULT ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Marriage should be more difficult. Divorce should be easier. The man and the woman should have to pass an IQ test and psychological test and a sexual compatibility test.
Beginning with the wedding ceremony, I believe a man and woman should be alone when they get married. That means they should not invite the 200 people, the mother’s and fathers and everyone else – the hell with tradition. Fewer people at the wedding means fewer witnesses. When the wedding fails, you do not feel like you have to give back all those toasters. A small wedding should be, the couple, an official and a tower – a tower to get a better view of things before making the final commitment.
I like the idea of a small wedding, very personal, cheaper. Save the big wedding cost and make a down payment on a house. Ask the parents to give you cash and forget the big wedding.
> DEPRESSION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Depression often leads to divorce. If you have depression take your pills. It may save your marriage. If a spouse has depression every other female or male friend is going to look attractive to the other spouse. The ups and downs are suffered by both parties when one is depressed. They call it a roller coaster relationship.
> MIDLIFE CRISIS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I believe that some people want a change in their lives. Some in their 40’s, some in their 50’s and some in their 60’s. They want or hope for other opportunities. There are sane, normal and sexy women in this world. There are sane, normal and sexy men. Everyone deserves that in a spouse. Everyone deserves happiness. Sometimes you have to risk everything for the opportunity.
If you are locked into a bad marriage and have the opportunity for the woman of your dreams – it is likely you will rationalize divorce and move on. When you are sick and tired enough of your situation, you will do something. Someone once told me that. When you begin to think you cannot do anything to correct the problem with a spouse, you will be more willing to go off by yourself.
Many will suffer indecision for years before making another decision. You fear the outcome. You fear what the kids will think. You fear what the public will think.
When you believe all women have mental problems, you start at a disadvantage to find a normal woman. For years I did not even look or imagine there were normal women. My Grandma was considered the exception until I was over forty years old. Decades were wasted with women who did not appreciate me and had no clue what love is all about.
I could not change them. Tried logic – did not work. It seemed to me that all women were very emotional. “All women are crazy” was my usual response to the ways of women. I even teased my daughter to get a sex change before it was too late. That joking hurt her.
> DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Family counseling is important in a marriage and the earlier counseling begins and the longer it lasts – the better chance to saving the marriage or at least for coming to decisions. The psychiatrist may even convince you that you do not have to put up with your spouse’s abusive and crazy behavior.
> WOMEN ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
When I came to know that all women were not crazy, my life got very good. One of my first statements to my loving wife (current) was “You remind me of my grandma.” She told me later she wondered what I meant. Did she look old? To me, my grandma was the sane, normal woman I knew.
> DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
If you are not Catholic or some other perfect religion, you may not have a big religious hangup against divorce. If your kids are over 18, many problems are eliminated. If you do not care if some or your kids may not like the divorce idea and may even be hostile toward your decision, than you have overcome one major fear.
The kids will usually come around to accepting the divorce in time.
The Pope thinks that once you marry, you should not divorce. But the Pope never married, so what does he know. The Pope had his answer – never marry. Why doesn’t the Pope marry? Is he smarter than most?
> CARETAKERS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Many marry thinking they can change the person they are marrying. Good luck. If a person hasn’t grown up or needs a psychiatrist when you marry them, they will probably not grow up and will probably still need a psychiatrist after you marry them.
Having a baby will not change much in a spouse’s behavior. They may get less sleep and have to learn to change diapers.
Waiting for the kids to leave home so your marriage may improve is probably not an answer. The kids are probably what is keeping the marriage together. The kids are going to leave an unhappy household as fast as they can and you will be left with the same broken relationship.
> DIVORCE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Many spouses will always blame the other spouse for the divorce. You can probably live with that – it is normal.
There often is another man or another woman in the Plaintiff’s life. They were probably looking for a change and probably found someone. In my last divorce, I was the Respondent.
Some will find an answer in Clark’s Biblical Law. It says in that book that a woman who openly opposes her husband deserves no special consideration. I liked that. That may be good for a man to hear. But it applies to both sexes. It can be a reason for a divorce. Or, an aid to the decision-making process.
I earned my degree in psychology in my experiences with other people. I have been in the caretaker role. I wanted to help. That is insane on my part. I’ve outgrown that need. Find someone normal I say. They are out there. Much better! My X brother-in-law told me recently that I was the best thing that ever happened for his sister. I appreciate that remark.
> DEPRESSION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Christmas is a bad time for people with depression. Nothing is right. The kids are not happy enough with the gifts. The depressed spouse is not happy with her gifts. The gifts are signs no one loves them. You will swear you will not spend another Christmas with depression – even if you are the spouse without depression. Especially if you are the one without the depression. I thought this for several Christmases.
The kids take depression and divorce hard. All they want is peace in their homes. They do not like suicide threats or attempts. They all love both parents – at least from time to time.
Friends may try to convince you to do something to get your spouse help. Friends can be a big help. Everyone loves the depressed person from time to time – especially during the good days.
The depressed spouse will usually deny everything. They are fine. Everyone else is crazy.
If there is depression or alcoholism or violence in a spouse, get the kids and family to a psychiatrist. All need to understand the problem. Invite the spouse. The counseling meetings may well lead to divorce. The kids have questions and need to understand what is going on. The depressed person has many fears – including that everyone is gaining-up on them. They want to defend themselves. They may make a scene right in the psychiatrist’s office during a family scene. They don’t like a professional or their thinking they need help.
The family has to go together if for no other reason than to keep everyone honest. If the depressed person refuses help, their may be little hope for saving a marriage.
A psychiatrist may wonder why you put up with your spouse’s behavior? They may say your spouse suffers from depression or is fine? Clinical depression is probably inherited, probably chemical, and probably not curable. You may not want to hear it. I want to know when she will get better. You want to know how much longer will it be? It you’re a banker, you can only give your spouse six months to cure at a time.
Depressed people make threats to divorce, they leave for a day or two or three, or they threaten to commit suicide. All are calls for help. At Christmas all usually become worse.
You will not want to spend another Christmas with depression. You may just want a six-month period by yourself to see if you are the cause of the problems of if your spouse is the problem.
You know they are the problem, but you don’t want to even admit your spouse has mental health problems.
Sometimes I do think people deserve a metal for putting up with their spouses for life. Than there are those rare couples who make fine examples of what marriage should be like. But, sometimes they fool you. They may have problems too. Who knows what goes on in their homes when friends are not around.
Want to change the characters in your life or learn to live without expectations of other? Pick up the book, “Living, Loving and Learning” by Leo Buscaglia. It is a wonderful book. It made me laugh. I read it on a trip to California and at the beach. I decided on the beach in California that I was going to take control of my life. I did not want to control anyone else’s life. I did not want to be a caretaker or responsible for someone else.
Divorce usually is a selfish decision.
> MENTAL ILLNESS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I am not responsible for another person’s behavior. Repeat that to yourself. Wow, is that a relief! If you believe it you feel you are on your way to a new life.
It is hard to accept that someone you loved has a mental illness. You don’t want to tell everyone your spouse is crazy, so you make excuses for them – like you would for an unruly child. They are tired. They are not feeling good. They must be teething – at 40? They are sleeping. The spouse is often the last to see or admit there is a problem.
You would like to think your spouse is just a very spoiled child and have not grown up yet. They may be that too! You do not want to hear about mental illness – you want to not know when it will end. And, can you last that long. You want a date certain – 6 months maximum. No one knows when it will end.
You do not want to be a psychiatrist? You want to be a spouse. You want them to get the help they need, but many do not. You threaten to leave if they do not get help. May work a time or two. They get help and pills. They feel better. Things are better and they stop taking their medicine. You know it. You ask if they took their pill today. They say yes. You count the pills. You know they did not. You cannot say I counted the pills and you are not taking them as then they will throw their daily dose away. You beg that they trust you to tell them when they need a pill. They trust no one. It all ends in divorce and for the next 20-60 years all you hear from your former spouse is Why? Why? Why?
They tell the attorney’s and doctors that they love you and then that they just as soon grind you up in the garbage disposal. They hate you and they love you. For the next 20-60 years. Maybe longer.
If the doctor asks you if you want to grow old with this person and you instantly say “No”, the speed of your answer may be the first admission that you want out.
It is key question in a marriage. If you don’t want to grow old with a spouse, you are in for a long, unhappy marriage and life. It would not be fair to either one of you to stay together. You may straddle the fence for years, looking for an answer. You heard the answer, “No” you do not want to grow old with your spouse. Listen to yourself!
You may know the answer for yourself. You may never know the answer for your spouse. I said that when I left. Wisdom it seems now.
> SEX ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
You have to have a sexy woman!
The number one underlying reason for divorce and happiness is probably physical sexual pleasure. Some may say it is money problems. Money problems lead to sex problems.
If a spouse does not like sex, they need counseling. You are going to find better sex somewhere else if you are not getting your needs filled by your spouse.
Mutual companionship is great in old age especially if Viagra does not help. In older age you realize there is more to a loving relationship that just physical happiness.
If a spouse thinks sex is dirty. You are probably going to find someone else or at least wish for someone else.
Often in divorce a spouse will offer sex as a means to save their failing marriage. Can’t hurt to try. It may be too late. They will feel rejection if you secretly have someone else, and if you don’t have anyone else. Rejection is their crutch. They are ill because you make them feel rejected or they just felt rejected.
There is sexual counseling, and it may be cheaper than divorce and counseling may actually correct the problems.
> REJECTION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Nothing is more pathetic than being a jilted Lover. You do not have to act like one. Sure, the rejection is so hard to take. To have your lover or spouse dump you is depressing. If you suffer from depression you have real problems – depressing depression. If your spouse has let you get away with your bad behavior for years and all of a sudden says they have had enough and are not going to put up with your behavior any longer – this alone will cause reactive depression or certainly worsen any clinical depression you may have.
Sometimes you have to become more depressed to recognize your problem. And recognizing your problem is the key to a better future.
Trying to figure out why your spouse or lover left you is for the counselor. Usually when someone has had enough to make a decision to leave, separate or divorce – it is over for them.
There is no realistic way to get them to reverse their decision. That is normal. Sometimes it takes many years to get to that point of leaving. When you get sick and tired enough of a relationship with a spouse you will do something about it.
Is there life after the divorce? I believe it was Kruschchev who once said “Sometimes to make an omelet some eggs have to be broken”.
Sometimes divorce prepares the way for better things for one or both parties.
I was lucky!
Often we ponder divorce for years. We make no move. We sit on the fence. You fear change when maybe you should welcome it.
I think we all want to find someone to marry who loves us, than to stay married to someone who does not. It is better to divorce someone you do not love, than to stay married to someone you don’t love. It is better to marry someone who loves. Many pick the safe route, which is to stay, no matter how miserable, especially if there are children. Sometimes the worse thing you can do to a person is the best thing you can do for them. Sometimes divorce is good for you, and will be for the other party after time. Sometimes getting help for a mental illness is the best thing you can do for them. Sometimes making a mate take treatment for abuse or drug abuse is the best thing you can do for them. Sometimes putting a mate in jail is better than helping to keep them out of jail.
The only remedy for hate is love. Sometimes taking a leave of absence, to find out if you are the problem or if your spouse is the problem is the answer. You want peace of mind. You do not know what the answer is for your wife or husband, but you want an answer for yourself.
You have a plan. You will leave for six months to see how things go. You may find out that things get so much better so fast you think you lost the boulder on your neck.
Maybe someone will get the help they need or wake up to the reality of life. Maybe they can’t call their spouse every name in the book and expect to keep them. Maybe they can’t physically abuse others and keep them from leaving. Maybe they can’t threaten someone and expect them to stay. Maybe they should have got counseling about sex. Maybe they can’t kick you door down and come at you with a hammer and expect you to return to them.
Once you make the move to leave you may feel very relieved. You may know on the day you move out that you will not be going back home.
You may start to grow again. You may get your sense of humor back after divorce.
Often there is not enough counseling to make each partner realize that their partner had feelings. And it is very difficult to understand the feelings of delaying the decision to separate from a long relationship. Maybe you fear facing the truth. You procrastinate. You will not tell your spouse you want out of the marriage as you do not want to spoil their birthday, their Christmas, their evening, their weekend, their month or their next moment. You find after you have finally told them, your relief begins to take, and thereafter things get better – for you anyway, because you spoke your decision – you made up your mind – you left.
And if your decision does not work, all you have to do is make another decision..
You leave and say you want to see how the next 6 months go and promise to do nothing except live apart for a while.
They may tell everyone they love you so much as they change the home door keys and go to the best divorce attorney in town and sell your lawnmower for cash.
Two attorneys help make divorce inevitable. Making hell for both sides in the name of money, your money, they have to try to get the most settlement for you even though the law in your state probably says you will get half and are only entitled to half. They start asking for the sky and each mate thinks the other mate wants everything or got everything.
> BEING FRIENDS WITH AN X ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
This is not a “The Old Christine and the New Christine” show. It is hard to be friends with an X. Why? Just cannot be friends after all the hurt and crap of past years of marriage and the divorce process. If you divorced them, they must not be acceptable to you, they must be dirt under your feet. Not true.
Why can’t both parties just say “we just were not compatible” and leave it at that. Naturally this is easier said than done. It should be required. The one who wants out, who has made up their mind, who has made the decision, who has sorted out all their reasons I call the “dumper”. The “dumpee” still has to adjust. Sometimes they never do. It is hard to be friends afterward. You had a hard time living together and probably will have a hard time getting along in the aftermath of divorce.
We have guilt about the divorce and this guilt lasts months, sometimes years. It does not matter whether you are the divorcer or the divorcee or the dumper or dumpee. Both feel betrayed by their spouse, their attorneys, and their friends and relatives. Each month and year you wonder if you would have done something different or extra to save the marriage. You are 40, 50, 60 years old. This should be the best time of you life. The kids are grown and have moved out, or soon will. You have your mate to yourself, and now they do not want you. You devoted your life to your husband. But was it that rosy? Or did you fight with your spouse daily. Did you go from loving him to hating him moment to moment? Did you even act like you loved the kids? You go thru the stages of blaming yourself, than blaming your former spouse. Which is it? You go thru stages of guilt and pity and hated and love. Which is it moment to moment.
Life seems to boil down to this. You expect another person to behave in a certain way. They do not. No one will act precisely the way you want or expect. They will not be perfect. They are assholes one day and your best love the next. Which is it? Moment to moment?
It is rare that both parties are strong enough or mentally healthy enough to discuss and work thru problems during marriage, divorce and after.
Divorce is rarely the answer for both parties, and often not the answer for either party.
Sometimes it is the answer.
I always thought the best think for me to say in divorce is that my spouse dumped me for a lesbian lover. This would seem the ultimate slap for them and for me. Thus I never said that.
One knows their x-spouse better than any other being knows them and if I can’t understand them who can? I learned that the best thing anyone can learn in life is that everyone thinks differently. I try to teach others that if they learn nothing else in life that they know that everyone things differently. They need to teach this is school every month.
Only in the Bible is divorce good for a man. Divorce is financially not good for either spouse. In the Bible a man just gave his wife a certificate notice of divorce and she was kicked out of the house without the kids. Sounds fair to me. The house, furniture, money in savings and all assets were left with the man. The woman did not get everything. She got nothing. The woman was lucky not to get stoned to death. Actually the law is pretty fair that gives each party half the assets after the debts are paid. I felt lucky to get the debts.
The woman may get every available asset so that they could make it alone, as they needed to do to prove to themselves their self worth, build their confidence. They may still not be happy. They may still feel they were shafted. The me, me, me, me, me, me victim syndrome.
You may get all the liabilities, the debt. But, be free to be you and not a caretaker.
> MARRIAGE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We all know sex is the way to keep a man. Good meals help. Real love as defined in I Cor: 4-7 and the desire to grow old together keeps a marriage together. Homes and cars do not a marriage make. But if you can have both, can deduct the home from taxes, and use it as a business, the husband may be happy as hell.
That reminds me, I have yet to figure out how to deduct the wedding expenses as business advertising.
An old turkey farmer named Henry Johnson in Oshkosh always told me, “Something good always comes out of something bad”. He was single and had a positive attitude about life. Maybe being single helps. I was 12, but have lived by that advice.
> POSITIVE ATTITUDES ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
It is my best explanation of my previous marriages. Three great kids came out of those marriages. Two were mine, one was my second wife’s son, one was my 3rd wife;s daughter. I try to treat them all the same in life and most certainly in my will. If you take a wife with a child, you take the child with the wife. I now am fortunate to have two wonderful step-children I think of as my kids too.
Your x-wives may still blame you, but I never felt I had to justify divorcing anyone to others but myself.
The woman always believes some other woman must be involved. They may even try to convince your daughter or son that you had another woman and was thus divorcing her. And, their saying so was just one more reason to split. I suppose it gives them a reason for the divorce rather than to blame themselves. You may even wish you had another woman at the time. Would make divorce easier. But, you always figured your x would kill you and anyone you slept with while married to her – one more reason to split. Their lies to the kids that an X saw you with another woman may make you angry enough to divorce them.
I filed for divorce with my first wife because she had abruptly quit her job and left Oregon for Wisconsin with my two kids. I learned she went out with an old boy friend in Wisconsin and had admitted affections for someone at work – an ex-marine.
My second wife filed for divorce while I was contemplating what to do about our marriage.
X’s may lie to their doctors which will add fuel to your anger. You and the doctors were trying to help and they are lying to you and the doctor.
I felt they killed my love for them with all their problems. They blame you for everything until you decide to divorce. They blame you for everything and all their problems after the divorce.
Readers, you are learning so much you should be charged $100 per hour. Send me a check.
You have no hate for a previous wife, but do avoid them. You do not need to hear their whining or their hate and hostility or their view of love and devotion 25 years after the divorce.
Is there life after divorce? People go through a divorce act like they are fighting the Civil War. It never ends for some. People will continue to fight these wars. You can handle the hate between adults, but when they involve the children, you have no stomach for it.
Some say terrible things to the children during the divorce. Fathers have even told their daughters that their mother didn’t want to have them – that she took birth control pills not to have her. They like to poison the child’s mind. How stupid. How sick! Women tell their kids their father has another woman whether true or not. They are saying, “please love me and not your father” or “please love me and not your mother”. How sick.
Kids must be allowed to love both parents. My Mother had the worse man for a husband in my Dad. He was an alcoholic. One of the few days in my life that I saw him was when I was about 2 years old. I heard my Mom crying and climbed out of my crib and went down stairs. My real Dad was fighting with my Mom and I went up to him and told him “You leave my Mom alone!” The next morning my Grandpa told me my Dad was gone and would not be bothering “us” again. I did not see him for years. Did not want to. He would have my brothers and I kneel on a wood register if we did not eat a square meal. I would later learn what a square meal was to an army recruit.
> THE ILLNESS EXCUSE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The illness excuse is big. I was sick and he left me. They don’t say I am still sick, I am still mean and hateful, I still want revenge. No, they say I did every thing for him and he left me, just look at me. He is an asshole. A former wife use to always say “You’re an asshole and I’m a son of a bitch.” It was comical in a way. She must have meant it the other way around, but I never asked.
People with mental illness rarely admit there is anything wrong with them. When they have a good day they do not feel they need their medicine. Without their medicine they return to their depression. They often do not take responsibility for their actions or inaction. Everyone else is the cause of their problem. They like no one. They trust no one. They do not take responsibility for seeing the doctor or for not taking their medicine. How can you help them?
The illness excuse is used when they cannot escape admission. They behaved the way they did because they “were” ill. They are never ill in the moment, just in the past. And it is every ones fault if they cannot accept the illness excuse.
The illness excuse is their way of not accepting responsibility for any of their behavior. Many forms of mental illness are treatable just like high blood pressure. Millions suffer from depression each year. It is caused by a lack of sleep, too much alcohol, often by a chemical imbalance, possibly by a genetic gene and from events that are depressing (reactive depression). It is not unusual for a spouse to suffer reactive depression if their spouse is suffering from depression. Depression can causes severe mood swings, in days, in hours and minutes. Behavior can change quickly and often.
It is the stigma of having the illness that keeps many from getting the treatment. They see it as a personal weakness. It is much more than that. No one wants to think they have a mental illness. Some times they cannot control or remember what they did. It is scary. And the scare causes more depression. If left untreated, the suicidal tendency increases. Depression is nothing to mess with. A friend can help, but a doctor is needed to prescribe drugs and provide psychotherapy.
A movie like Play Misty For Me may throw them into a state of depression if they see themselves in the actress’s behavior.
Get help! It is nothing to be ashamed of. Take the pills. Get the psychotherapy. It is far better than losing your marriage and family. Depression untreated breaks lives and families. It is your problem if you have depression and it is a problem if someone you love has it.
> WISDOM AND MENTAL HEALTH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Wisdom recognizes a problem and deals with the problem. If you bury your head in the sand and hope a problem goes away you are wrong. Get your head together. Get the family to family counseling. Most every problem has a solution. If you can’t get beyond the hurdles, you can’t make the jump to a solution.
Thinking sees the problem. Expect difficulty and say it can be done. Positive thinking recognizes the problem, welcomes the challenge, and finds a solution – often. The other people in your life may see the problem more clearly and may be right that you need help. You may not know it. Realizing the value of another’s opinion will let you live a richer life.
Many people with depression will not show it in front of others outside their immediate family. They can be mean and hateful and ugly and when the doorbell rings answer the door as the finest person you could meet. This only proves to me that they do often have control over their behavior. When their depression is bad enough, they may lose control no matter who is around.
There are little ways to make yourself a happier person. Smiling is one. Smile, you will look better. Smile, it will make you feel better. Learn to bring yourself to a quick smile. Just developing the smile muscle is good. People will think you are happy. Smiling brings out the positive. An expression of joy will bring out the best in any person, help you cope with many difficulties in life when you face others. I know, because a smile can win my heart.
> DEVELOP A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Develop a great sense of humor. Worth repeating.
> STAY IN SHAPE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
A great body can also turn my head. Exercise the mind, the humor and the body. One helps the other.
> LIVE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We are often frustrated by someone’s behavior. We get upset because they don’t live up to our expectation. It is easier to change our expectations of others’ behavior than it is to change others. Others will often not match our picture of what their response should be.
It is better to give up those expectations and the feelings that follow. The more flexible you are to the responses of others, the happier you will be.
Parents usually love you as you are. They give you years of care, and, freely give you loving advice, that if followed you will give you a richer life. Friends offer the same advice. When we are young and smart, or old and dumb, we do not listen to others or to better ways of thinking. I know. My step-father told me not to marry my first wife. I did not listen. All I can say is that I have two fine children from that marriage. Second wife’s x-husband told me not to marry my second wife. I did not listen. I did gain another fine son – her son, now my son too. In both cases
I thought I could change my new second spouse. I could not. I may not even be able to change you, but I know you can change you, and that is what is important, and that is the message I offer. You can make the necessary choices to change the way you. Third wife had a fine daughter. Her x-husband tried to tell me not to marry her, and I did not listen. But, he was wrong. I have a fine wife and another fine daughter.
Don’t even try to control others. You cannot control the way anyone else behaves or reacts to you. They control that. You cannot, nor should not – try to change how anyone else behaves by using threats or other inappropriate behavior to force them to behave how you would like them to. If you expect me to behave in a particular way, to react the way you want me to react, to be a certain way, you are going to be very disappointed. Because someday, I am not going to please you, I am going to screw up, I am going to displease you.
You expect me to lecture you. But if I lecture you, you are unhappy.
You expect me to not bring up anything that happened, anything that others told me you did, and if I do, it must mean I believe them and not you.
If anyone tries to talk with you or explain anything, you fly off the handle and threaten to quit the relationship? If you quit being my friend, what am I to do? Do you control me by such a threat?
Am I a threat to you? Do you think your threat to commit suicide will get me by your side? Do you think your threat to commit suicide if I leave you will keep me? Are these threats fair to me.
You will kill yourself if I stay, and you will kill yourself if I leave. How am I to respond to your no win alternatives?
Threatening to kill yourself only makes me think you have real problems. You cancel me out as your best friend and supporter. How can you be helped?
> THE CUSTODY STRUGGLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Perhaps, someone convinces you that I am the enemy. Perhaps you yourself think that I am the enemy. I am not the enemy. You waste your time and the time of others believing anyone else or the past is to blame for your problems.
You live in the now. Not the past. So if you do not like something in your past you can hate it or love it or dismiss it or forget it.
You may feel your problems go back to your childhood or to the child custody struggle between you and your husband. The second spouse may feel her problems are due to the same custody fight. For twenty years, all you may hear is that both wives problems were due to two tiny children and a custody battle 30 years ago.
In divorce you may claim all your problems were due to an ex-husband abusing you. In 20 years you never told anyone, but now claim that is your problem. The psychiatrist buys the argument. I asked him, “Do you believe that? But it sounds like a good illness excuse that all that is wrong with you is what someone else did to you (whether he did or didn’t) twenty years previous.
People can spent 30 years claiming that their problems are due to their childhood or due to another. I say bullshit! The problem is now! Always has been in the now. You control your problems. And I, I choose to see problems as challenges – possibilities. I choose to blame or accept responsibility. I choose escapes or solutions. And if “you” are looking for someone or something to blame “your” problems on, well, you might as well choose me. I am strong, I can handle it. You can blame me if you want, but where will that get you?
Other women have gone through custody struggles, or divorce, or faced death of a loved one, or a disease, or abuse and have become stronger. You want to use it as an illness excuse.
You say you behave the way you do because of the divorce or past abuse. “He took my kids away from me” and therefore I blame him for my problems. How about, he got the kids because you had problems!
Or, I am the wy I am because my former husband abused me. Or, I did everything for you! I raised your kids or I was sick and you left me. Or was it, you were a jerk throughout the custody battle and you blamed the kids for all your problems and were hateful and I left you.
> LIVE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
You choose! I choose! Everyone chooses!. Live without expectations of others. This is very important. Some cannot do this. You can have hope, you can look forward to things, but it is dangerous to expect a certain gift for Christmas, or that the gravy not to be lumpy, or expect your mate to jump for joy, or expect all the kids home for Christmas, or expect life between people will be perfect.
Expect me to react in a certain manner to you at all times and you will be disappointed. Depression, anxiety, hate, anger and hostility are caused by your expectations, or getting high about things and then going into a depressed state when things do not workout to your expectations.
> HIGHS AND DEPRESSION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Depression in its more serious stage is anxiety, anger, hate, hostility directed inward, then you put it all on others.
Depression will last just as long as the earlier high lasted.
> STRESS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We simply must learn control over our stress.
Stress causes numerous health problems both physical and mental. If you are easily angered, impatient, aggressive, a smoker, and have a family history of heart problem, you are at greater risk of a heart attack. You need to lower your expectations, to schedule your life better, seek balance between work and pleasure, reduce your stress thru yoga and exercise. You need to list what makes you anxious and hopefully realize how trivial these reasons are.
> ACCEPTING OTHERS AS THEY ARE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Do we really know another person? I think not. We have to know another person so well that we can think their thoughts for them? No. We could not even if we wanted to. We can not even though sometimes we think we can. What we can do is accept people as they are. If we do not like the way they are, we can find a different friend. Or, we could confront our friend, risk losing them, or risk really getting to know him. We can go to our friend and say, I do not understand you. The other day you said this, and this I do not like. Please explain what you meant. I do not understand how you behave, please explain! Say, I would like to see you change your way, I would like to help you as a friend, if you want me too. If you do not want to change, fine, be the way you are, but I am going to find a new friend. We can get very close to someone we love, but they can be so defined by us that we truly know what they are thinking. Part of the excitement of someone is that they constantly surprise.
> LIVING AND LOVING ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Live without expectations if you count on someone else to make you happy, because when he does something you don’t like you are going to be miserable. Count on you to be happy with you.
> GOD ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Sometimes those who doubt become the greatest believers.
Every time a child is born, I renew my faith in miracles and God renews his faith in man.
> CHOOSE A GOD WHO LOVES YOU ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Some of us adopt an attitude that the Lord will provide everything we need when it is needed. If you let the Lord direct your life, if you feel you have to do nothing, never plan, never work, never do anything except to let God do it, you are going to be very disappointed in God.
God does not have time to make things happen for every human being. You are in charge of your life. It is what we have in common with an all powerful God, that we can make our own decisions. Christians call it freewill. I will not let you take any escape route from that basic fact.
You can decide your present and your future in most ways.
> RELIGION – HOPE OR QUESTIONS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Experience with religion has given me both hope and questions. Often I have felt that some religions and some ministers allow no room for intelligence or even emotion. If you don’t believe a certain way, if you are not caught up in the spirit you are not seen as a true Christian. They say: “If you are healed, you are a believer. If you are not healed, than you must not have believed enough.
I say you got an illness and sometimes it is healed and sometimes not; faith and hope and a positive attitude often help you get better.
My God, intelligence is not seen as a block to believing to me, emotions are more of a way to truth and understanding than the Devil himself. I hate to even mention the Devil in any form as realistic. There is a God that I cannot define. There is an intelligence. Than there is stupidity, like rolling in the aisles. I have been a Lutheran, an Evangelical, a Morman and a Methodist. I liked them all and I liked none of them for different reasons.
I was excommunicated by the Mormans many years ago for not attending their Church I guess, and officially for not being willing to say that Joe Smith is the one and only true Prophet. Well, Joe Smith is Dead. I remember getting a notice that I should appear to show cause why I should not be excommunicated. My young son also got the notice. We did nothing wrong. We were just silent.
Certainly my son did nothing wrong – he was too young.
None of it mattered to me, but my son should have had the right to choose when he is old enough. Without encouraging one way or another, I explained the notice to him and asked if he wanted to go. He simply asked me, “Does it make any difference?” I ask that if a child knows that such formalities make no difference to God, how is it that adults who run churches come up such stuff as excommunication? Priesthoods? Elders? Exclude blacks and women? What kind of church sends a written request to appear before them and testify of your faith or be excommunicated from the faith?
Does it matter? No, churches are made by man. Money changers included.
I told my son that I did not think it mattered if we went or not. That in my heart and mind I liked my God, and He does not excommunicate or exclude anyone from His Love. We did not even respond to the excommunication notice, as my God would save me from their church’s excommunication.
I have had nothing but good ever since. But that does not mean every member of a church should become a me-thodist or a More-Man. I am not sure why the Morman Church choose to exclude me and my son for any reason. Even if we had done any wrong in anyone’s mind would that not be a good opportunity for the church to include us?
Many years earlier I had told a Bishop in Salem Oregon that I never did believe that I could hold the priesthood and that a woman or Black man could not. At that time Mormans excluded blacks and women from their priesthoods. Notice I did not say God’s priesthood. God would not exclude any of his creations from his religion. Think about it? I said that I felt the day would come when they realized how wrong that position was. For me to support such religion even by attending church meant that someone might think I supported discrimination in any way against any one. I do not. Discrimination is against my religion.
Years later, another Bishop met me the streets of Belleville at the Citgo Station and asked if I believed in Joseph Smith as the true and living Phophet. I said I did not think he was any more a prophet than any other man. Soon I got the ex-communication notice. I was never aware of the churches official position on blacks not holding the priesthood, until after my family had joined church.
I believe it was 1978 when Mormons allowed blacks to be part of their priesthood. Notice I did not say God’s priesthood. God does not need a priesthood or organized religion of any kind.
The members were wonderful people and their family orientation is worthy. Some years ago a few blacks were allowed to hold the priesthood.
Someday women will be allowed into the priesthood when a new Prophet sees the profit in it. When this does happen, I will note that I was a greater prophet than Joe Smit because of my prediction. If the current prophet of the Morman church would listen to “My God” they would allow all God’s children all of God’s benefits and all of the churches benefits.
There is good and bad in all organized religion. To me, organized religion is a business. It is big business. If anyone believes in any religion, fine. It can be a wonderful social outlet for many. Just so he does not harm anyone with his belief. There are many fine religions and churches like there are many fine restaurants. Go to them if you want. Eat from their menus all that you want.
But, don’t swallow anything whole. Chew on it for a while.
Eat what you want. Just don’t throw it up on me!
You have to take your church menus with a little humor and spice and intelligence. I know that God understands my questioning of the church and even of God, and that God still loves me with my questions.
When you believe that God loves you no matter what, then will you be able to love your God with all your heart and with all your mind. It is not the work of a prophet. I could claim it is, and many might believe it. This is the belief of a common man, a man who loves and is loved by “his God” just as you can be.
To me God is love. Jesus said so!
Could I have these beliefs if I was made in the image of God? Obviously yes. Could I have these beliefs if God was made in the image of man? Obvious yes.
Establish the same intelligent understanding and mutual love with “Your God”. Every man has his own God. Every woman has her own God. All of our Gods are slightly or greatly different from our neighbor’s god. I can tell you just as sure as if I were a Prophet that this is true. We make our gods in our own image. Man is not made in God’s image other than we have free will that God must have given us – the same free will He has. It is the other way around. If God is perfect, man would be perfect if made in the image of God. It is far more likely the we make God just like we want him to be. If our God is to be angry, revengeful and surrounded by fire, we have that.
If we want a God that is loving, giving, understanding, surrounded by angels we turn on the Hour of Power and listen to Rev Robert H. Schuller. I have done that too. I can choose my God, why in God’s name pick one that is mean, revengeful, punishing and unforgiving? I can choose my own God, and why not pick a God who is loving, understanding and forgiving. That is my kind of God. That is my choice in god’s. Thus I do not deny that there is a God. I will be honest and say I do not know 100% for certain if there is or is not. If there is one, he has been very good to me. I do believe. I often believe. I do doubt. I often doubt. And, my God forgives me for doubting.
A good minister friend once said that some of the best believers are the biggest doubters. I liked that. It fits my thoughts.
> ETERNAL LIFE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
It is nice to dream of an eternal life in a wonderful place when I die. It is nice to have some God to blame for floods and lighting storms. It is nice to have the Devil to blame for the dark side of my character. I choose my devil too, and, it is natural that I have done this. I am thinking that in the long run, it is human and easier to blame someone for my problems and the weather.
> THE BIBLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The Bible, like all books, was written by men – men who had dreams and inspirations, men who were leaders and men who were writers at the time. The Bible is the most purchased book and like Jurassic Park was the best selling movie. Both works are fact and fiction. The Bible is the least read book of all time. We all acquire one or more copies and get one out when the minister stops by or when we have a hard time dealing with a life’s event.
Those who have read the Bible pick out a menu of things they like to support, what they want to believe, some good quotes and teachings. Jesus, said some great things. He did live. He was hung on the cross. That is true and supported in history and the lack of denial by writers during his times and years after. There is no written record in those earlier days when Jesus lived that a historian claimed he did not live. He probably died on the cross. Whether he rose from the dead or the grave or was robbed by his followers and his body hidden we do not know for sure. He probably did not go to South America to appear before the Indians as the Book of Mormon claims.
> JESUS DEATH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Of one thing I am most certain. My God did not plot to have his son have a gruesome death on the cross just to save me from the mistakes I made in eating an apple. My God is Love.
If you believe God had his own son killed so your sins could be forgiven, you are wacko.
You can forgive your own sins by doing good.
> THE GOOD IN THE BIBLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I have been taught that the Bible is good and that Jesus was great. I still believe that Jesus was a great teacher. I believe there are some wonderful teachings that I believe to be good in the Bible and most of them attributed to Jesus. I am not so great of fool as to believe in mythology.
> MY RELIGION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
My religion means freedom from the false teachings. My religion means that religion does not control me.
I still choose my life. Religion means freedom to pick my religion. If I have the freedom to choose a religion, it makes no sense to pick one that makes me feel guilty, or makes me think sex is dirty, or that if I don’t tithe I won’t get into heaven, or that I am a sinner because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. It was an apple for God’s sake.
I pick a religion like the Hour of Power and Dr. Robert Schuller who preaches God is Love and you can change your life and decisions and become a better person. That is what I choose. Smart huh!
> THE MEANING OF EASTER ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
As presented by religion, Good Friday and Easter is a horrifying experience. Jesus nailed to a cross for his preachings and beliefs or by those who believed otherwise. It was murder plotted by jealous church leaders.
What I learned by it is that Jesus, a man, was dying on the cross, by nails driven through his hands and feet, spear holes jammed in his side, and his last words were to forgive those who hung him up there. That principle of forgiveness is something to base your life on. That kind of love and understanding earns my respect. It is in the words and teachings of Jesus that we can learn.
> THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The birth of Jesus was the best thing that ever happened to the department stores and toy manufactures of the world. I fear that a few years from now, some prophet will dig up some old printing of the Book of Santa, and Santa will become the holiday Prophet of the future.
As far as I know we have not debated the birth of Santa, although I would not be surprised if in the future a “Profit” of Christmas will credit me with predicting that Santa was born in a Cash Vault in a bank in Belleville, Wisconsin; and, that three wise men visited him and brought a Barbie Doll, a Hoola Poop and a realistic actual firing Missile Handgun. I am convinced that he lived, probably was born to Joe and Mary Profit. She probably was pregnant before the marriage. Maybe Joe was the father. In those days an illegitimate birth would be best covered up by naming the father a devil, or a god. The story would leave questions.
The point is that Jesus was born of humble beginnings, and before His death he taught teachings that survive today and have influenced more people than all other teachings put together. That is the true beauty of Christmas. Actually Jesus was born in October. The teachings of Jesus belong in collection. I believe in most of what he is credited for saying.
> MY RELIGION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Religion is more than belief. Belief is more than religion. To do good and a belief in the teachings of Jesus is my religion. That is it. I need no more.
I have searched for the right words to say that are short, meaningful and can change your life, uplift your spirit and give you all the knowledge you need to get thru the most trying times. I want to share these words with you and leave you with words worth remembering. The three word are: “God loves you and so do I”.
In searching for what to say in a few words that you will in searching for a message you will not forget. I must choose words from the minister who married us. The minister who married us is Dr. Robert A. Schuler, the noted TV evangelist of the Crystal Cathedral. His simple message is the best one for you too…”God loves you, and so do I!” I have tried to think of a better message. There is none. If you wonder whether you believe in God, this message is the most powerful. Because knowing that God loves you, and that another human being loves you, is the most important knowledge we can have. It is psychology we all need.
It even satisfies the needs of a doubter.
> HOLY UNDERWEAR! ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Clothes do not make a person, nor do they make you Holy. It is more important to feel good about yourself, than to look like a million dollars. If clothes make you feel good, fine. Buy what you can afford. If clothes are heading you towards bankruptcy, than you have lost your priorities.
I was a Morman, I was sealed in marriage to a former wife in a nice Oakland, California Temple. Afterwards you were to wear this special underwear. For men it was a one-piece outfit with flaps in back and front available in long or short leg lenghts. The garment was to remind me to be faithful. Well, there was no way I would have let any other woman see me in my new underwear. Indeed it would have kept me faithful, as no woman would want me seeing me in it. Made me look 30 years older. So, I was not about to give up my briefs for that outfit. I later divorced my Morman wife, and underwear had nothing to do with it. She burned my marriage underwear in the backyard and claimed to have seen the Devil come out of it. Thank God I did not wear that garment for more than a day.
Nothing worse than having underwear with the devil it it. Glad I quit wearing it!
Actually I was more opposed to the Morman ban on women or blacks holding the priesthood in their church than I was about wearing the underwear. Although it was easier for me to do something about the underwear than about their church doctrine.
I tried to change their doctrine one time. As an Elder I voted with a hundred others on whether to build a new church building or buy a farm to feed their poor. I was the only one who voted for the farm. Jesus said, “Feed the poor”. Apparently Joseph Smith told the others to build a church.
> LOVE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
It’s O.K. to love your spouse, children, mom, dad, sisters, brothers. Sometimes it is hard to love them, but believe me it is easier to love them than to hurt them.
“God Loves You and So do I”. Now, I would not want you to think I have gone off the deep end in religion. Most people either believe in God, or accept his existence, but whether you believe or not, much of how you and others live and think is related to man’s religious beliefs and values and norms. Thus, I do think that the most helpful thing for all of us to believe is that God loves us as we are – whether we believe or not!
Indeed my own philosophy is that God is Love. He is the love we have for ourselves. He is the love we have for others. He is the love force others have for us. He loves you whether you believe in him or not. He loves you even if sometimes you doubt or do dumb things.
> FREEWILL ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Our God has given us free will. The right to choose. This is a great gift. It is not a burden. I can choose, I can make decisions. God does not make all my decisions for me. He does not have the time. He depends on me to make my own choices, mistakes and decisions. I am like God in this way as he makes His decisions.
> THE BIBLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The Bible is a collection of stories by many writers. I have written off the Old Testament. I like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I feel closest to God when I love someone, when I love children, when I love my wife.
> PRAYER ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Prayer is cheap medicine. True religion is love and sharing; not exclusion. So, I pray for everyone. I pray for the leaders of this world to learn tolerance and acceptance and love.
I keep trying.
> THE BIBLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The Bible teaches us much which I do not understand. Sometime people take passages too seriously, or too literally. One of my favorite passages is the birth of Jesus’s that “His name shall be called wonderful, The Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace”. Now you can believe or not believe, the fact is Jesus was born, did live, did teach, was a wonderful counselor and was indeed through his words the true Prince of Peace. Not only for peace against war, but preaching love and understanding, and giving each of us true inner peace.
> INNER PEACE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
In that inner peace we must find in ourselves to be, and we search for it in our mates, and we wish for it for our children. Inner peace comes from within. You will not find it in others. If you are depending on inner happiness to be from others at all times, you will be disappointed.
Einstein, the German-born theoretical physicist, said that only a life lived for others is worth living. Love is my God, my Holy Spirit, my guardian angel. Love protects me from harm, guides me through life and death.
Spiritual values can be religious or secular, practiced in different ways. The important factor is that these spiritual values are my mental and physical health. If I rebel against my values, I will feel mental stress and perhaps physically ill.
God begins where reason ends. It may not seem rational to believe in God. Certainly many will question belief. If it isn’t rational to believe, it still may be good for you to believe in God. You do not have to believe to be a good person.
There is no need to believe in a bad God. Why screw up your life after death. If you learn nothing else from my book except that “God Loves You” as you are you will be better off.
But there are other things to, and I believe you can learn to be happy. I believe happiness can be taught. And, I believe the keys to happiness can be found in thinking.
I want to share my wealth with you. I want you to be as rich as I am. I have found the secret to wealth, riches, happiness, peace of mind. At, least, I know the secret to happiness for me, and if it is good for you, than you can be happy too.
Retiring from banking at the age of 48, for several months I wondered what to do with my spare time in retirement. At first, I felt I must work. Work is all I have ever done. Why retire from it if all I am going to do is work? I could do that in banking. I did know that I did not want to shuffle papers, fill out forms, read printouts or sit in front of a computer crunching numbers, ledgers, collecting past due loans, or any other paper-work job. I want to create!
I thought about becoming a minister, thinking that their would be little paper work, and I only would have to work on Sunday mornings – one message a week. But ministers are also buried in paper. And they often work day and night. I would just like to uplift the human spirit. I choose to be happy with life and if I can make your life fun and rewarding I would be happy.
Just sharing my thinking with you should make you happier. Follow the Ten Commandments. Nothing wrong with that.
Healthy acceptance of a religion or philosophy is important to your happiness.
Be weary of believing in a God or a Devil that makes you do things. If you believe in the Devil? That’s scarey. If you believe God is watching your every move and will pounce on you, send 40 days of rain, give you the plague, swarm you with bugs if you make a wrong move – that too is scarey! Some ministers were taught in seminary to give you 15 minutes of scare each Sunday in their sermon, and then let you know God can save you if you put enough in the collection plate.
A young minister friend landed in Belleville, Wisconsin in the mid or late 70’s as I remember. He was new to the local rural folks who were use to a minister who visited their home once a year if they attended church once a year on Christmas eve. Thus a return visit from the minister was justified. This young minister was not about to submit to it. Thus some locals were left waiting for his visit before they would return to Church. It made a good excuse not to attend church.
Some would thus not set foot in the local Methodist Church – ever. Some will go their graves before forgiving this young minister. Well, they missed hearing some real down to earth sermons by not coming to church. And here was a minister who was not condemning, not calling people sinners, but preaching that I was loved by God no matter how human I was. I liked him, and soon joined him preaching whatever came to my mind. It is hard to come up with a weekly sermon.
My wife has a favorite minister in Dr. Robert Schuller, the famous TV evangelist. Well, I had some of his works and was particularly impressed by his teaching that life was a decision, and that you need not fear making a decision, make one, and if it is wrong, you simply have to make another decision. And I had used that theory on Dawn’s heart and mind, to convince her to love me, and the worse thing that could happen is that she would have to make another decision. Soon we or she was watching Schuller every Sunday.
I, like most of us, have spent many hours listening to preachers condemn us for our thoughts and deeds, and give me hell for not tithing. Well, Schuller has to ask for money to run his programs, but he can have some of my money and I’ll be happy if he just gets his message across to one person a week. Simply put, he preaches God loves us and he does too. And, that my friends is the most important message in religion or psychology.
> HEAVEN ON EARTH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Is there a place where dreams come true? Is there a heaven? Is Belleville, Wisconsin heaven? Is heaven on Earth? Are there periods in life when we find our earth life is heavenly.
For me it happened when I married my present wife. I had first met her when I was also a Realtor and had some land for sale in 1980 next to where she lived. I went out to the land to determine the boundaries and thought the South Boundary included the neighbor’s TV antenna. I went down and knocked on the door of the trailer home. A lady answered, and I backed up so not to scare her. I explained my reason for being there and asked if her TV antenna was on the land I had listed. She said it was. I thanked her and turned and left, and this voice in me says, “I cannot fall in love, I am a married man.” I saw in her eyes warmth I was looking for and hoping for in my life. I never thought any more about it until several years later. I had gone thru my divorce in 1986.
While single again, I had mentioned to my buddy Dave, that the most beautiful women seem to marry such strange men. Well, one day talking to a man about his loan to finish his house, start a winery, buy a bus and haul Wisconsin cheese to Alaska, and buy a boat in winter when his wife walks into my office and sits down. My whole system was about to shake, my chemistry was having a violent reaction that I was afraid I would be revealed. I always said love was a chemical imbalance. She was the woman I had seen at the trailer.
I called my friend Dave and said that I was in love.
I had my first long conversation with Dawn at a wedding of a mutual friend. I learned she could drink a lot of Gallo wine. Another year or so would pass.
A couple years later I learned they had set up separate accounts at separate banks, acknowledging they were going through a divorce. Praise the lord! I also think some things are written.
I could make my own heaven on earth, and you can do it right here on Earth. I always believe the Lord had promised good to me, that God loves me, and that God created heaven and earth. Well, almost always.
He now had created my opportunity to date this gorgeous woman.
We are all looking for a loving mate.
> EARTH AND MAN AS CARETAKER ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Dear President Trump:
Did God make a mistake to leave man to be the caretaker of earth?
> MY MINISTER ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Few religions and few pastors teach the simple and true philosophy that God loves us as we are. Many ministers teach something different.
My old Methodist minister thinks my religion is easy. I wondered why must it be tough. Believing God loves me is a very big part of being happy. My God is a very lovable God. He loves me. I do not fear the Bible or any Minister or God. I do not believe in the Devil. I do not fear any king or Governor. I have a difficult time enslaving me, as my life is safe from fearing evil. I have my thoughts, thus I am.
> FEARING FEAR TOO FEARFUL FOR ME ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
If my thoughts come from God, than without a doubt he loves me. I do not have to fear him. I may fear cancer, death, life, heights or flying but have at least learned not to fear most of these. And, thus I do not spend lot of time fearing.
I have little control over getting cancer. I could die tomorrow. I could fear life or flying.
I do fear heights and electricity. I have been sat on my butt a couple times by electricity. I have a great deal of respect for it. But we humans own our pains and sufferings.
I am convinced that if there were no God, man would create one to lean on in tough times.
> CHURCH CAN BE HARMFUL ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
A lot of the stuff is taught in religion, Sunday school and Church that actually hurts a healthy relationship with God and the Universe. We are often taught about an angry God who is unhappy with us for being human. That the Devil will get us. This is bologna! We are taught the Puritan belief that we are dangling over a fiery pit of Hell and if we do not pay our tithe the trip down the pit will be accelerated. Don’t let these teachings clutter your mind.
I have been to church on Easter Sunday and heard a minister state that those there like me who only come once or twice a year to his service are definitely undeserving of God’s amazing benefits. I told him simply, “God loves you and so do I”. Who had the better message?
> THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I certainly think Moses told God the 10 commandments as I think these same rules are engraved in the hearts of all sane beings. The commandments are very acceptable conduct.
You may feel that such a theory by me is religious. Not at all. I am just saying that it does not matter whether Moses carved the tablets from God, or wrote down what he thought God would want to hear, or simply made these rules for people to try to restore them to decency. What does matter is that these are good rules for all to follow. Good teachings.
> BIBLE INSPIRED WORDS INSPIRE OTHER BOOKS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
There are many good teachings in the Bible we would all be better off following. Thus the Bible is a great book. It is not the only great book. Every man can write a book. Some men can write great books. Some great men wrote the Bible. Some were inspired. Since the Bible, many have been inspired in their writings. Many have been inspired to write other great books
These books have inspired other books.
Many can claim to be prophets thousands of years ago when the Old and New Testaments were written. This year, thousands will claim to be prophets. Thank God for our wisdom to think for ourselves to accept, modify or reject the teachings and writings of many who take every word in the Bible as gospel, so to speak.
I would have a great deal of mental difficulty living by all those words. It is more important to develop an understanding of the whole, than to try to live by every page.
> ONE GOD IS CHEAPER ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
“Thou shalt have no other Gods before me”. It is easier to just have one God than many. If you believe in tithing, than giving 10% to one God is all one can afford anyway. If you had 10 gods and gave 10% to each one of these gods, it could cost you 100% of your income. It is too difficult. Thus believe in one God is good and cheaper.
> BELIEVE IN THE GOD WHO BELIEVES IN YOU ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I had the pleasure of being married by the Rev. Robert H. Schuller in May of 1989 and before and after have many of his writings. In his book “Believe in the God Who Believes in You” he preaches the title of the book… believe in the God who believes in you. God who believes in you is not the mean, get even, fearful God, but the loving, caring God who believes in you..
> ENDURING COMMANDMENTS ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
“Thou shalt not make for yourself any graven image. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. These are sometime difficult to endure. In our society, the Sunday falls on a weekend. It takes up too much of my weekend to spend it in Church or Sunday School all day. Is such a schedule necessary to enter the kingdom of heaven? I think not. Jesus did not spend much time in a church. But kept the Sabbath holy. He did things on Sunday that angered the Priests and questions in many whether even healing on the Sabbath was appropriate. Give me a break. If you can’t heal a man on Sunday, are you suppose to wait until Monday? Certainly healing on a Sunday is keeping the Sabbath. But, not according to some of us. You have to take some of these biblical rules a little less seriously. For example, in the old testament you should not leave your tent on the Sabbath. What if you had to go to Church or the bathroom?
“Honor thy Father and Mother. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness.” These are good rules.
> MAKE RELIGION EASY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I told my minister friend that I spend Sundays reading the paper while watching Dr. Schuller. He told me this is too easy. My wife, says why should religion be hard?
It is a good conservation. I had the privilege to meet Reverend Schuller when he married us in May of 1989. My wife got me watching him after reading some of his philosophy of possibility thinking. I like his psychology.
I find life so precious that I was once the only one in the whole church meeting to raise my hand when asked “Who would like to live forever on earth”. I like it here. I don’t know what it is like any where else. But I like it on earth.
> THE BIBLE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The Bible is the word of God, so proclaims my friend. But so might be this book. This book is by my spirit. Perhaps all books are inspired by God. Was Abraham any more a prophet than I? Was anyone more prophet than I? Or you? I don’t know. I believe the Bible and the Dead Sea Scrolls are accounts, chapters, books in the lives of various authors that provide some a good history of dealings with God and a damn good account of the teachings of Jesus. I don’t think it has to be more than that. I think today their are just as many so called written articles predicting acts of evil and mayham caused by an angry or loving God as there are prophets writing the same thing 2000 years ago. I believe their are prophets today writing, books, and chapters praising God for some of the good things and miracles that take place today. I can choose to believe or not believe the writings and preachings of doomsday or miracles, blaming God or Praising God for all.
A prophet of old wrote of God’s wrath to scourge the earth, It is no different than Morman’s historic account of God sending seagulls to feast on the hoards of locust nagging the Mormans in Utah, or the grasshopper swarms that ate all the leaves off my bush one year. I could have blamed God for being angry at me and punishing me, but I never thought of blaming God.
> THE GOD EXCUSE ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Man has blamed God to much for our own doings. When man does not want to take the blame for bad or good, why not blame God or give God credit for good. I am not that way. I like to take credit for all I do. And, God does not seem to mind if I don’t blame him for lot of crap. Give blame and credit where do.
> HOMOSEXUALITY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Thank God I am not a homosexual. I do not understand why anyone is a homosexual. I got an angry distortion on the subject from my conservative minister friend in his view. I sat and listened. To him anyone gay could not be a Christian because of certain teachings in the days of Abraham and a few lines in the New Testament. He mentioned some of his colleagues may disagree.
He said that being homosexual was the mark of Cain. I chuckled a little. He said, “I am serious”. I said that when I was a Morman, they said being black was the mark of Cain. I said which is it? He said, “I do not know”.
After minutes, I asked, “Do you think Jesus would forgive someone for being homosexual?” I was almost amazed when he said, “I suppose He does.” I said, “There you have it!”
If God forgives him, why shouldn’t I forgive him? Why should I even let myself worry about someone being a homosexual if it is up to God to judge. Judge not lest you be judged. So how do I reconcile that a minister does not accept someone, does not forgive someone, if we believe God will forgive and it is Godly and Christian to so forgive and to to accept someone as they are.
I suspect the first caveman created their gods out of a lack of knowledge about the forces of nature, the mystery of the Sun and Moon; and a need to blame something for their problems. I do feel that Adam in the Garden of Eden, alone, did not want to blame himself for any difficulty he had so he worshiped God, a god he could credit for good and blame for evil. And when Adam sinned, be blamed his spouse. Sound typical? And when some men or women claimed that God was good, and goodness was blameless; they created the Devil to blame for evil.
I blame man for hate and anger, divorce and murder, for aids and cancer, for the common cold, for the poor and homeless, for war. And, I credit man for most good that occurs in the world we know as earth.
I was saying that I thought religion was less prevalent in our lives because it does not fit into our two parent working families schedule. TV has replaced our Sunday media of entertainment. I feel Sunday use to be when everyone went to town for socializing at church and seeing what was happening. And, showing off a new dress.
> GUILT – WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
So many minister spend their time lecturing their members and making them feel guilty. I like to feel good about my religion. Who wants to listen to people not sing a tune because they don’t know it? I like to sing familiar songs. I like to hear a positive message. I like to read the paper at the same time.
There are a lot of sad faces in church on Sunday mornings. The minister should make these people feel happy to be there by proclaiming and teaching from the pulpit that “God loves you and so I”. He should not be making them feel guilty for being there.
I don’t like to hear guilt preaching. I also resent preaching about the Devil. The idea that the devil is waiting for me to weaken for a moment so he can then control my life is ludicrous. I have never experienced a breath of the devil. If he lives he has not tried to influence my life. There is no reason for me to blame faults or weaknesses or actions or inactions on a devil. If it makes me feel bad to take the blame for myself I can always blame my wife.
I know people that blame their spouse or boyfriend for everything no matter how ridiculous it is to do so.
> INNOCENT YEARS OF CHILDHOOD ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Psychologists like to blame something in your childhood for the reason you act the way you do today. What happened to you when you were in your formative years is not usually the cause for your behavior today. It is an excuse for you antics now as an adult. You can change the way you are. If you cannot control your being, then let others control you in an institution.
My first exposure to religion was Sunday School in an old church in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. I remember I was the only youngster who had memorized the names of the Books of the New Testaments. But, my personal philosophy was more shaped by two events occurring on the way to or from church.
The first event was when I was about three or four years old, and I was walking to Sunday School with my brothers when I met the devil himself in the form of a St. Bernard dog, The dog knocked me down and I lost my dime for the Sunday School plate. There is nothing more embarrassing than having nothing to put in the collection plate when it is passed to you. I put my fist into the plate and made believe I had money to put into it. I knew God knew I had lost my dime to the devil, but I didn’t want anyone else to know that I didn’t have any money for the collection plate. That was probably the first time I wished I had not gone to Sunday School.
For years I trotted off to Church every Sunday under gentle expectations of Mom and Grandma. I sang in the Children’s Choir. I soloed a time or two, singing my favorite song, Silent Night. All this led right into confirmation and Palms Sunday I was confirmed. It was a beautiful day, and I had on my new shirt for the occasion. Leaving the church, along side the building, soaking up the sun, I walked under a tree and a bird let his poop empty on my new shirt. It was a sign from God and I had my excuse never to enter a church again – at least that Church.
My Mom seemed to accept my position and for years I didn’t have to attend Church. I had to work on the farm. Seems all she and Grandma wanted was to have me confirmed. Religion does play a very important part in our lives. Even if you do not go to church, even if you do not believe… it plays an important part in life because it does in so many other lives, like your brothers and sisters, wife, kids, Mom and Grandma. I understand how many people think, where they are coming from in their behavior and beliefs, as they make many of their decisions are based on their religious beliefs. Thus I cannot ignore religion. I can condemn it, praise it, be apathetic and agnostic and atheistic, but we live in this world with many believers.
I believe how I believe is very healthy, and that you have as your foundation beliefs similar to all religions.
There are people who have been led to believe that there are angels flying around with wings they have earned by watching over someone (any resemblance to “Its A Wonderful Life” is coincidental). I have a brother that believes in predestination of everything, a previous wife that saw the devil emerge from my burning underwear, another did not believe, and another who thinks God will give her eternal life in Heaven when her life ends.
I do believe that God, what ever form He takes, does have the power to intervene, or if he is Nature to time events in such a way as to save life. Each time I believe he may have intervened in life, my life was saved. There are two major interventions in my life that brought me closer to believing – at those times.
The first took place when I was 16 years old. At that age and event such as I am about to relate, leaves an impression on a person. I was talking to my “girlfriend” on the phone. We usually talked an hour or more. This time we were talking for a short time, and all of a sudden she said, “I have to go and hung up”. I was a little taken back, miffed and went and sat down by the TV. Almost instantly, lightning struck and the phone rang. I went to check if the phone was actually ringing, as if she calling back. To my shock, the receiver had melted to the bottom of the phone. My Dad’s old station wagon outside also had been struck, and the lights were turned on, and we could not turn them off until the battery drained.
The next day I asked my gal friend at school why she hung up. She said she did not know why, she felt she had to and did. She could not explain it. Well, it didn’t take long for me to figure that my life had been saved by someone telling her to hang up the phone? I have to give God credit for that. I am not sure, why God would want to intervene to save my life. Perhaps it is so I can write this book.
There is a second time that I felt God choose to save me from certain death. I had driven some 23 hours to somewhere in Minnesota near North Dakota from Belleville, Wisconsin to deliver a truck load of day old turkey poults for my step-father’s turkey hatchery at the age of 18-20. It was a long winter-time trip, and I tried to keep going. I do not remember how I got from Wisconsin Dells to Madison, about a 50 mile trip. I woke up to seeing in my dreams the famous image of praying hands coming up though the payment, which startled me and woke me and saved me from sleeping thru a major intersection in Madison. It was after this event that I forgave God for the bird droppings on my new shirt at Confirmation.
I have tried to define God for myself many times. If He is in my image or I in His – so be it. If He is the Laws of Nature at Work, so be it. If he is no more than the power of Love, I can accept, and I know that he is at least the Power of Love. There are those who are not ready to admit that there is a definable God. Thus, I am inclined to skirt around the word God, and use milder terms such as Love and Law of Nature or the Source of Power that brave men and women declare as God, the Father, The Son, and Holy Ghost. I do not know for certain there is a God as I cannot show proof. I do believe man’s nature is such that he would create God.
To many it does not matter whether God is real or imagined, he is God. If you believe, that is what matters. I like to think God is Love. And, that overcomes all problems, all fears. A God of love does not agree with all the hateful events which occur daily. I dismiss the idea that there is some evil “devil” causing mayhem. I believe that man and nature do good and evil.
My God is a good God, who loves me. My God set the rules that control the universe, he is indeed an all wise God. Do my questions have to be answered?
My God is love. That is sufficient for my definition. We often feel that God has abandoned us. We feel that he no longer lives in our hearts or in our cities. But, have you seen any city where God would want to live? I think he would want to live in the country. If you were God, which man’s heart would you want to live in? Few men or women have a heart worthy of God’s presence. There may be evidence that God lives in our minds. Many cannot be sure of a God, without a sign. Not much has changed in the past 2000 years when people asked Jesus for a sign that he was the true Son of God.
Watch Dr. Robert Schuller’s “Hour or Power” on TV. His religion is me. I feel I have been forgiven. I have been in the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California a couple times. I have met Dr. Schuller and was married by him. It is an honor to meet this man. He inspires my religion.
In our town of Belleville, Wisconsin, we have three churches.’s One would make more sense to me, especially in a small town. There isn’t enough difference between the three church doctrines to warrant three heating and air conditioning systems, three buildings, and three preachers. I could attend any of these churches and my beliefs wouldn’t change a bit. I would like to change some of their thinking. But I can live with their doctrines as long as they keep them in a book where nobody can find them. I like most about churches is usually the ministers. If I don’t like him, I am unlikely to return.
Many years ago, I have listened to the Lutheran minister of a New Glarus Church preach about the Devil and it was directed to young people. Young people don’t have to be scared in church by preachings of a Devil.
I have heard the Methodist minister preach of the failings of the people to put the church first in their lives – that is his job.
He wants the people to clean up their act, and to get off their butts and better their church and politics. This minister was from the old school of training. Seminary taught that you preach 15 minutes of damnation and five minutes that God can save you if you donate.
> FAITH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
You work out your faith today. Maybe tomorrow it changes a little or a lot! Who can say that your faith is wrong or right? Who can say that yesterday’s faith is less true or more true than today’s? Faith is a gift. To some it is a bigger gift than it is to others. Many can survive on less faith. Others need a heavy dose every day to cope with this world.
Let every one have all the faith they need or as little as they need. Let me have my faith. I will not try to modify your faith if you do not try to modify mine. But, if you want to adopt any part or all of my faith, you may have it. For me religion is defined as what ever a man wants to believe. We can change our religion. We can change religions. A man wants to believe in the truth. Sometimes it is hard to verify the truth. Faith is needed for faith.
> A PROPHET IN MY COUNTRY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
A Prophet truly believes he is a prophet. He dreams up whatever is necessary to convince another of his right to claim himself I prophet.
Some prophets think their church is the only “true” church. Anyone who fails to follow his belief is doomed. Organized religion is reduced to this.
> WOMAN MUST OBEY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
Adam says, “The woman shall love, obey and serve husband, for he is the Master!”
What a man can’t get from the Bible to support his superiority. Numerous words and paragraphs of beauty can inspire our lives. It is as much as we get from any book.
> BIBLE VERSE BUILDS CHURCHES ON FOUNDATIONS OF SAND ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
A church often creates problems with its interpretation of the Bible. The extreme example is not allowing Catholic Priests to marry which contributes to some priests molesting children, or others leaving their priesthood, or unnatural abstinence. The “Good” teaches that men who are pure are the best of men. But instincts teach that men need women.
The Morman Church preaches that women cannot hold the priesthood, only men can hold the high offices and run the church. These are old teachings that have outlived practices or any imagined usefulness and it is time their Prophet hears a new message from their god. It is time for all so called religions to treat all people as equals regardless of race or sex or nationality.
> READING THE BIBLE AROUSES MY CURIOSITY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
About faith, Christianity, God. The U.S. Constitution and First Amendment guarantee us freedom of religion. It would have been better if they guaranteed us freedom from religion. Actually it does that too! Most religions do more harm than good. The good can come from the socialization of members, and can even teach love, acceptance, understanding. But if it teaches fear of God and pay ten percent of your income or else be excluded from heaven, be careful.
The Bible upon which Christianity is based is filled with events of slaughter by God, myth, fables, and the devil. It is fine to read it. It is fine to memorize nice verses. But do not pattern your life after it if it preaches harm. Few of us have read the whole Bible. It is not that exciting of reading. It can be a guide. The familiar verses are often something we can lean on. I have always been disturbed by a Father offering his son as a sacrifice to save other people from their sins. As a young lad, I hoped that my Dad would never plan or allow me to be hung on a cross just to help others with their sins.
I note that the creation story is the same or similar in many tribal beliefs and many ancient myths. And God made man in his image…. If God is perfect, therefore a man made by God in God’s image would be perfect also. I questioned why man than turned against his creator and ate the forbidden fruit? I will not tear down all the stories in the Bible for there are many verses worth noting. We can argue all we want about religion. It boils down to emotionalism verses reason. Perhaps the best reason to believe in God is that it helps many people psychologically.
Don’t know if God is male or female. Do you? In Church we often learn of a God who is to be feared and who gets mean with us if we don’t blindly believe. Thus in life we learn to fear God and we then get angry with Him if things don’t go right. I say, love your god and do not waste your energy being angry with your god.
In every book of the Bible, the author creates for us the god he sees. So can you. You can write a book today about the god you like. Make your god responsible for everything that happens if you do not want the responsibility for life. You could blame the bad things on God and praise God for the good things. Many do.
If faith is the only requirement for salvation, as Jesus taught, our believing in our God is easier. You can even become a believer the day before you die if you know when you are going to die (and many do). Now that is making believing easy.
Obviously, wealth is not a sure ticket into heaven. If all we have to do is believe, we can save our tithing dollars for our casket or Pyramid. All we have to do is just believe in the last minutes. ?
Finding inspiration in any Bible passage or book of the Bible is easy for us to do.
The good makes the Bible the Good Book. Those passages that lead others to do bad, make any book bad. Whether a book is good or bad does not mean that it was written by a prophet, rather it is more likely every one is their own prophet who writes.
Want a God of Love. The God is Love theory is mine. I will make my god in that image. It is my free will to do so. Those who believe otherwise, may do so with my blessing as long as they do not impose their will on me. As we define God, we choose our god. We do not do this to deny God as we merely choose our way to conceive of Him.
THE BIG B&B IN THE SKY ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
We don’t want to think of ourselves laying in a casket forever. So we have created a God who has built a mansion with many rooms for us.
On earth, my wife and I built The Great Bed and Breakfast in the sky (on a mound) and it has many rooms for my wife and I and others, And, she treats me like a god. This concept has worked well for me and I have achieved heaven on earth.
THE DEVIL MYTH ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
The Devil, the evil mischief maker, is a myth. He has not made anyone. He cannot make you evil. Life without a Satan is better when we quit looking for someone like the Devil to blame for our behavior or problems and accept responsibility for our own actions. An all powerful God would not have made a Satan. We have made the Devil. It is our work that we blame the Devil for anything.”
> THE BIBLE FOR THE GOOD OR THE BAD ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
I do not ridicule or deny the Bible or Jesus. Let everyone believe what they want! I try to see them for what they are. The Bible is a collection of books of man, put together by men. I find the Bible filled with many good teachings. Jesus was a great teacher. I find many of Jesus teachings filled with good. Both have inspired my life from time to time… The important thing to re
member is that many are influenced – for good or bad – by the teachings in the Bible.
> 2016 ELECTION ~ R. U. Wacko for GaryBahr.com
To some a vote for Hillary Clinton may be a little crazy. But, I am not crazy enough to vote for Trump. If you voted for trump, you are wacko? Just my opinion.
I vote for the most intelligent candidate.
Trump is a bully. 5000 lawsuits by him or by others against him is the proof. He would be the most vengeful President in history. His thinking is minimal. His successful accomplishments are few and do not match his bragging. His words many. His depth shallow. His ego huge. His example poor. His name calling many. His tax returns hidden. His acceptance of criticism nil.
Some cannot accept a successful black President or the thought of a woman President. I was so proud of our country’s election of Barrack Obama and would be had we elected Hillary.
To those who think Hillary was or is crooked, show me the proof.