Positive Attitudes

~ R. U. Wacko

It is my best explanation of my previous marriages. Three great kids came out of those marriages. Two were mine, one was my second wife’s son, one was my 3rd wife;s daughter. I try to treat them all the same in life and most certainly in my will. If you take a wife with a child, you take the child with the wife. I now am fortunate to have two wonderful step-children I think of as my kids too.


Your x-wives may still blame you, but I never felt I had to justify divorcing  anyone to others but myself.


The woman always believes some other woman must be involved. They may even try to convince your daughter or son that you had another woman and was thus divorcing her. And, their saying so was just one more reason to split. I suppose it gives them a reason for the divorce rather than to blame themselves. You may even wish you had another woman at the time. Would make divorce easier. But, you always figured your x would kill you and anyone you slept with while married to her – one more reason to split. Their lies to the kids that an X saw you with another woman may make you angry enough to divorce them.

I filed for divorce with my first wife because she had abruptly quit her job and left Oregon for Wisconsin with my two kids. I learned she went out with an old boy friend in Wisconsin and had admitted affections for someone at work – an ex-marine.

My second wife filed for divorce while I was contemplating what to do about our marriage.

X’s may lie to their doctors which will add fuel to your anger. You and the doctors were trying to help and they are lying to you and the doctor.

I felt they killed my love for them with all their problems. They blame you for everything until you decide to divorce. They blame you for everything and all their problems after the divorce.


Readers, you are learning so much you should be charged $100 per hour. Send me a check.

You have no hate for a previous wife, but do avoid them. You do not need to hear their whining or their hate and hostility or their view of love and devotion 25 years after the divorce.


Is there life after divorce? People go through a divorce act like they are fighting the Civil War. It never ends for some. People will continue to fight these wars. You can handle the hate between adults, but when they involve the children, you have no stomach for it. 

Some say terrible things to the children during the divorce. Fathers have even told their daughters that their mother didn’t want to have them – that she took birth control pills not to have her. They like to poison the child’s mind. How stupid. How sick! Women tell their kids their father has another woman whether true or not. They are saying, “please love me and not your father” or “please love me and not your mother”. How sick.

Kids must be allowed to love both parents. My Mother had the worse man for a husband in my Dad. He was an alcoholic. One of the few days in my life that I saw him was when I was about 2 years old. I heard my Mom crying and climbed out of my crib and went down stairs. My real Dad was fighting with my Mom and I went up to him and told him “You leave my Mom alone!”  The next morning my Grandpa told me my Dad was gone and would not be bothering “us” again. I did not see him for years. Did not want to. He would have my brothers and I kneel on a wood register if we did not eat a square meal. I would later learn what a square meal was to an army recruit.

See R U WACKO at  GaryBahr.com