~ R. U. Wacko
I am not responsible for another person’s behavior. Repeat that to yourself. Wow, is that a relief! If you believe it you feel you are on your way to a new life.
It is hard to accept that someone you loved has a mental illness. You don’t want to tell everyone your spouse is crazy, so you make excuses for them – like you would for an unruly child. They are tired. They are not feeling good. They must be teething – at 40? They are sleeping. The spouse is often the last to see or admit there is a problem.
You would like to think your spouse is just a very spoiled child and have not grown up yet. They may be that too! You do not want to hear about mental illness – you want to not know when it will end. And, can you last that long. You want a date certain – 6 months maximum. No one knows when it will end.
You do not want to be a psychiatrist? You want to be a spouse. You want them to get the help they need, but many do not. You threaten to leave if they do not get help. May work a time or two. They get help and pills. They feel better. Things are better and they stop taking their medicine. You know it. You ask if they took their pill today. They say yes. You count the pills. You know they did not. You cannot say I counted the pills and you are not taking them as then they will throw their daily dose away. You beg that they trust you to tell them when they need a pill. They trust no one. It all ends in divorce and for the next 20-60 years all you hear from your former spouse is Why? Why? Why?
They tell the attorney’s and doctors that they love you and then that they just as soon grind you up in the garbage disposal. They hate you and they love you. For the next 20-60 years. Maybe longer.
If the doctor asks you if you want to grow old with this person and you instantly say “No”, the speed of your answer may be the first admission that you want out.
It is key question in a marriage. If you don’t want to grow old with a spouse, you are in for a long, unhappy marriage and life. It would not be fair to either one of you to stay together. You may straddle the fence for years, looking for an answer. You heard the answer, “No” you do not want to grow old with your spouse. Listen to yourself!
You may know the answer for yourself. You may never know the answer for your spouse. I said that when I left. Wisdom it seems now.
See R U WACKO at GaryBahr.com